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Valentine's Day.

Apparently everything in this country is going to cock . Wherever you turn around to see young people still do not finish high school and are joining a gang ( Team callus) or Felipe Calderón helping to cross the street to an old woman as she whispers in his ear: "will never leave a baby in your vagina" or prostitutes dressed as nuns trying to sell homemade eggnog using their sexuality . Yes, the country is going to hell. But today we can do all that aside for now is February 14.

The February 14 is one day more important for this country. And no, I mean the day that our national hero, Vicente Guerrero , died shot in Cuilapam Oaxaca. I mean the day of love. 8 years ago today was in prison in a wheelchair, c ubierto in my own blood (or playing Yu-Gi-Oh! with my imaginary friends I do not remember well) but many things have changed since then. Now on February 14 has become, for me, one of those nights where I have a lot sex and sex mean an uncontrollable desire to mourn all night to create a huge mass of water not allow me to breathe and to end my life once and for all (always confuse those two).

For this reason and parcel of my Maya Kin I decided to give some tips for this Valentine's Day:

Places NO look for love:

Sanborn's

There just are people forgotten by God and Ernesto La Guardia . And if you were to bump it to you, remember: The more afraid of you than you of him. Only appears to be calm and go. ( Fun fact: A group of Ernestos The guard is called: Homicide)

Pantheon

The love of your life is not dead (unless yes * ).

• Tepic, Nayarit.

This place does not exist, Dopey.

• Starbucks.

As its name implies (Starbucks comes from the French word "Les bian" ) we only I meet lesbians wearing plaid shirts to talk about imaginary band called "Arcade Fire " and books written in dead languages \u200b\u200b called "French " . Stay away from this place .

Places YES look for love:

• El Pollo Loco.

Most of women who visit this place have been abused by her father and still without knowing they are entitled to vote . Use this to make you feel safe and steal the little faith they still have in the world.

• Pantheon *

By process of elimination, the love of your life may already be dead , search for it here.

• UVM

* See El Pollo Loco *

I hope these tips will be of much useful as I have been to me, and have a fascinating night like that will I, full of great sex ( or Type 2 Diabetes, also confuse these ).

Happy Valentine's Day!